Do-it-Yourself (DiY) Relationship Counseling

Because of the high cost of professional relationship counseling or therapy, many couples are forced to forgo outside help even if they realize that their relationship may be in trouble. Most relationships go through their ups and downs and not every situation requires outside counseling to resolve the problem.

The good news for those who find themselves in this particular situation – or even when one partner simply isn’t willing to go into therapy – is that there are things you can do that can lead to self-healing and repairing a relationship that may be damaged.

Please keep in mind that I’m not suggesting DiY relationship counseling as a replacement for professional help, merely a stopgap alternative.

Doing your own relationship counseling doesn’t mean that you’re less committed to the success of your relationship as compared to other couples. It may simply be a case of others having a higher threshold of tolerance for an outsider (even if it is a qualified counselor) probing into their private lives and having the money to afford professional relationship counseling.

Do-it-yourself relationship counseling can be done as one partner or as a couple, although it’s much more effective when both people participate. We’ve become a society of do-it-yourselfers, so it only makes sense that we apply this concept to our relationships instead of limiting it to only simple home improvement projects.

There are many different styles of self-therapy available to you. Before you begin, you may want to check out some books on the various relationship counseling styles and pick up tips and advice. It helps a lot if the two of you read the relationship guides together to gain a little insight on your specific problem(s) and the best approach to take to resolve your differences.

Here are a few relationship therapy styles that are popular with do-it-yourselfers.

• One highly recommended style of DiY relationship therapy is known as the Imago, which is Latin for ‘match’ style. You can find many books on this topic either online or at your local library. The important thing is that you take as many steps as possible together.
• Role-playing is another great way to obtain valuable insight on how you perceive your partner as well as how he or she sees you. You may learn a lot about how the English language is woefully inadequate at conveying precise messages. You may intend to say one thing and your partner may hear something else entirely. It’s important to learn how to communicate with one another positively and accurately. Working together through self-therapy and role-playing can help you achieve that.
• Positive thinking is a great place to start. Whenever the roads of romance become a little too rocky for comfortable travel, it’s time to take a step back and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
• Make a list, write a letter, write a poem, or take a few minutes to hold each other and dance. Remind each other of the wonderful person you are when unencumbered with the worries of the world, children, finances, and the world outside the circle of your arms.

Try to use some of these ideas the next time your relationship runs into a rough patch and see if you can get through it together. As a couple, you’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment and joy if you can successfully solve your problem with do-it-yourself relationship counseling.

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